On being grateful

Like many of you I suppose, I come across posts and articles about gratitude. Some even assert that gratitude is good for health. Gratitude can't be a forced thing, yet I believe it can be gently nurtured and favoured.

Several months ago, I caught myself on my way to work, complaining and feeling terribly grumpy. My car had broken down, and the garage had agreed to lend us a car for a few days, time to repair our own. That car was old, and lacking in the usual comfort we enjoy.

There I was, lost in feelings of mild anger and frustration, and then it struck me: there was a ray of sunlight, it was morning, I was healthy, my family was, and I - was - complaining - because - I - was  - on - my - way - to work - in a car. I was going to work in a car, and I found ground for complaining!

It instantly flipped over, that whole perspective. Hello sunshine, I was going to work in a car, awesome!

Indeed, I could be unemployed. I could NOT have a car. Not only was I wrong to complain, but I saw things in negative, I had a completely upside down vision at that moment.

Long time ago, I wrote this poem, entitled 'Merci'. True, I was completely unaware at the time of the crap that would befall me later on in life (sorry for this language, but crap is crap, isn't it?). It went like this:

Merci en passant, merci en revenant,
Merci enfin et pour toujours,
Merci pour toutes les fleurs,
Les baisers, les sourires,
Merci pour les amis, même perdus
De vue, de vie, ou d'envie,
Merci pour les amis de toujours, et les amours,
Merci pour les senteurs,
Le sucre, le sel, et l'amer,
Merci pour la tendresse, merci
Pour la musique, les échos d'une voix,
Merci pour les chemins, les questions,
Merci pour les réponses, parfois, merci
Pour les chagrins qui mordent la vie,
Merci encore et à nouveau, pour les matins,
Les nuits, les petits matins, et les nuits blanches,
Merci aussi pour les envols, les voyages, et les retours,
Merci pour les départs, les multiples départs,
Pour les détours aussi, merci pour les arrêts,
Les pauses et les immersions, merci
Pour les lacs, les étangs, et les flaques,
Les océans, les rivières, les ruisseaux,
Merci pour tant d'oiseaux, de lumières
Et d'éclats, merci pour tant de spectacles,
Merci pour l'infini, les livres et les poèmes,
Merci pour ces leçons jamais terminées, sans cesse
Renouvelées, merci, pour les rencontres,
Les regards, merci pour les souvenirs, les belles
Histoires, merci pour les vastes espaces, merci
Pour tout ce qui ne pourra jamais être décrit
En simples mots, merci pour ce coeur débordant
De vie et de rêves, merci pour ces fleurs qui fleurissent
En hiver, et pour ces neiges éternelles,
Merci encore, pour le goût et l'envie,
Merci pour les poètes et les peintres, pour ce
Besoin d'apprendre, pour ce monde insondable,
Merci pour cette humaine envie d'aimer, merci,
Car infime je suis sur cette terre, dans l'univers,
Et il m'est impossible de tout saisir,
Immortelle, je ne le suis pas, et de tout cela,
Naît le bonheur de dépasser l'horizon,
D'écrire toujours et à n'en plus finir,
De frôler l'éternité...
Alors merci encore, merci vers l'infini,
merci à l'invisible, merci à l'indicible.
Merci pour ce tout petit mot, qui en dit tant : merci.

Boy was I right. That was a long list of things to be thankful for, and truly enough, the world is packed with so many wonders. I know the horrors of this world are equally overwhelming, and I've always struggled with explanations (chance, bad luck, evil?), though most of it comes back to man's choices.

I am not a religious person, though I am deeply spiritual. I see souls and spirit, I don't really see God. I struggle with the existence of horror, too much to actually see or find God. Sometimes I visit this blog: Ann Voskamp is very religious, and her passion for God almost scares me I must admit. Yet the beauty is that although we don't share the same beliefs, we share the same love for gratitude. In this report she explains that there was horror in her life, and that she found the true way to God through the sudden realization that there was so much to be thankful for, at every moment of the day. Horror and hardship must not eclipse all the wonders of this world. A.Voskamp sees all the things I mention in my poem as gifts of God. I see them as gifts, anyway.

Gifts mean that someone gave something, right? I know, I'm a sucker for paradoxes. I find life very paradoxical anyway. It doesn't keep me from deeply loving and acknowledging all the beauties surrounding us: smiles, friends, sugar, mountains, salt, departures, hearts, suitcases, beverages and books, music, sun...Oh once the list starts, it doesn't stop...

I hope you have a beautiful, unlimited list in mind. Or that you are starting one, right away ;)