Tuesday, April 18, 2017

The sun is always there.

The sun is always present.
It is just the clouds that hide the sun.

The trees have begun to unfold their leaves towards the sun.

So have the flowers.  
The flowers in our tiny garden have just started to unfold their petals 
and are showing us their lovely smiles :)

Our soul, our true self, is like the sun, it seems.
It is shining and smiling deep inside our heart, always and forever.

I remember that whenever I visited Val's former blog,
the photos on her blog appealed to me.
I could sense the sunlight from her photos, 
which was filtered through her eyes, her true self.

Happy belated birthday, Val:)

Wednesday, April 12, 2017


Have I mentioned I was a fan of Harry Potter?
That I am fond of all things fantastic?

Recently I saw the movie derived from 'Fantastic beasts and Where to Find Them'. It rekindled my love for all things Harry potter/J.K. Rowling.

I love the way this author uses magical metaphors to paint the miseries and grandeur of the mind.

The Obscurus struck me as one more powerful image of what goes on in our poor, tormented souls, sometimes. This parasite grows from the suppressed/repressed magical forces of a witch or wizard.
The unfortunate sorcerer, for whatever reasons fate or foolishness or simply Life imposed on him/her, tries to cancel what is in him/her.Thus creating a huge, dark force that he/she can't control.

Such is the way our mind works, it seems to me. The worries and fears we have, we try to suppress. When we do that, we can't cancel what triggers pain or fear, but we do create another power. We generate more fear, more worry, more stress.

I think I did that over the past months. Somehow. Hiding worries. Frustration. Anger. Sadness. Pretending. And developping what never existing inside me before...

What if...this suspicion of illness became really serious? What if I died? What if I started feeling really old? What if I stopped achieving anything good in my life?  What if there was no going back? What if I kept worrying like crazy? What if I kept postponing all the good things? What if I was really alone? What if I felt more and more listless and hopeless? What if it was too late? What if something bad really happened to the ones I love?

Did I become an obscurial? Not quite! :) But I developped bad things. Bad thoughts. Bad habits.

I started procrastinating. I got tired. Depleted. Nervous. I started watching stupid YouTube channels, just to ease my mind and be able to move on to the next day. I started blaming myself for too many things. Imagining worst-case scenarios. Worse than all, I started losing hope. And this all means the opposite of who I am.

These things form a vicious circle from which you suddenly realize you can't escape. From which feeling upset and frustrated becomes the rule. From which chronic pain and exhaustion get hold of you way too often.

But either you become an obscurial, or something clicks in your brain and you realize you're not on the right path anymore. And you change. Again.

I was born in spring. And spring has always been my favourite season. For me it is an eye-opener. A time when the senses awaken. When energy flows fast and merrily.

I have realized what things were missing in my life at the moment. What I needed to do to make things better. Well, kind of...That I needed to really take care of myself. Because noone will do that better than me. Because I too deserve to be pampered and taken care of. Because everything is possible, as soon as you believe again. Because it starts with baby steps. One dream at a time.

Because no kid on earth wants an exhausted, sad mom. Right?

And also because after all, you get what you focus on.